I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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