omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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