You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
