9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
