Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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