What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
