So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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