drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
