It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just invented taco cereal.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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