his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize