you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
