dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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