True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Are we still banned from the library?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
