I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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