we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
