She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize