piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
