Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize