You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
