After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
