Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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