so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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