I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
As shirtless as possible
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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