Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
