we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
