I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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