yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
