see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
