Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
