the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize