Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
