he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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