so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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