I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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