When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
