i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
