Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
