just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
