Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
