So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
