She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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