I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
