69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
