If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
