I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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