i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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