so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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