Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want her autograph on my taint
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
