I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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