i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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