I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
no you cant smoke seaweed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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