You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
