haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
