they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
