There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
