Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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