he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
