How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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