i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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