Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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