Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
