Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
