the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you had me at cake vodka
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
