We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
