no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
