I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you didnt know i had herpes?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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