I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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