I'm lost and stupid without you.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
