I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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