I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
